There is SO much rhetoric in the ether right now about masculine and feminine energetics, especially in the coaching world. “Am I leaning too far into my masculine this week?” we wonder squeamishly. “What about now??”
As if there were degrees and we were going to be scored at the end of the day.
Love, like all things in life, ‘tis a dance.
And I sat down with Alexandra Trevisan, a Heart Centered Leadership Coach for High Achieving Women and an expert in masculine and feminine energetics, to get the most delicious scoop on what we REALLY need to know, how these energies play in our day to day lives, and how balance and harmony between the two can be fully realized. Her entrepreneurial journey incorporates her own swings between these two poles, and she pulls back the curtain on her own spiritual evolution in this juicy interview, too. Enjoy.
Tell me about your own spiritual and entrepreneurial journey. What questions and beliefs led you to founding Spiriosity and ultimately to coaching?
My spiritual journey and my entrepreneurial journey really do go hand and hand. My battle with mental health – anxiety, depression, and burn out – left me powerless. There was a period of time I felt debilitated by my thoughts and how I felt in my body. I compare it to feeling like you’re on the tower of terror ride at the amusment park, except 24/7.
The Law of Attraction became my sort of gateway drug into the spiritual world. During this dark period, I found a podcast that talked about the importance of our energy. It talked about the emotional scale, how fear is at the bottom and how love is at the top, with various emotions in between. Each of these emotions held a certain energetic frequency; and, whichever emotion you were primarily operating from, is what circumstances you attracted into your life into the physical realm. It then became a cascade – this podcast led to books, online courses, and coaches that delved into the nooks and crannies of the spiritual and energetic realms. It finally felt like things made sense. In utilizing spiritual teachings, I was able to shift my own mental paradigm of “why is everything bad happening to me!” (the victim paradigm) to “everything is happening for my evolution” (the creation paradigm).
At this point, I was already on the path to become an entrepreneur by running my own Chiropractic business. I think subconsciously Chiropractic was a way for me to try to help me heal myself, in the physical realm. Chiropractic was an avenue where I was serving people as well, but again, something felt off with this type of work. I was helping in the physical realm when pain was so much more comprehensive than “tight muscles”, etc. When I was going through my own dark period, I had all kinds of physical ailments show up. Addressing these from a musculoskeletal perspective was only one piece of the pie. I wanted to go deeper with them; but the clinic wasn’t the right environment for that.
When COVID hit and my chiropractic business took a turn, I had a lot of time on my hands and dwindling income. Funny enough, I had met someone recently who told me how she started her own business with a coach. Talk about divine timing. I contacted this business coach and hired her.
My clarity came in the form of helping other people light up THEIR spiritual curiosity- not just regurgitating mine. Spiritual curiosity (spiriosity) can be understood as passion, purpose, and power. Stepping into our power is facilitated through deep intentional work around living in integrity with our passions. When we have a desire to live in our power and embody our passions in our everyday life, we create purpose.
I now identify as a Heart-Centered Leadership Coach for High Achieving Women. Women who know how to hustle but want to deepen their levels of fulfillment, women who want to bring their true wisdom to the table and stand as the conscious leaders of their lives. I knew how to work hard, get good grades, and climb the ladder- but this only got me so far. I experienced this futile cycle first hand, and desire to guide others through this soul journey.
Let’s talk about masculine and feminine energies, and how they both exist in us all. Can you share the foundations of your teaching and expertise in this area?
Coming to inner sovereignty is part of my method in helping my clients. Sovereignty is when our masculine (inner protector and disciplinary) and feminine (inner nurturer and desire) are in harmony with one another. We all have both masculine and feminine energies within us – just as nature has both as well.
The sun is a great example of masculine energy. He is consistent, operating on a 24 hour cycle creating our structure for our day. He is penetrating, electric, and gets the job done- every day, he is out here doing his thing. The moon on the other hand, is a great example of feminine energy – she is cyclical, on a 28 day cycle, creating what we know as a month. She is receptive and magnetic – she doesn’t call for your attention but rather you go to her. Each of us have both masculine and feminine energy within us, and when they are in balance with one another, we develop a “sacred union” of the two (like a marriage) and are able to step into our full power.
When one of these energetics is out of balance, we oftentimes have a tough time feeling like the leader of our life. Our feminine energy may be imblaced if we are stuck in desire and dreams and not implementing action. Attuning to our feminine energy – understanding that we are cyclical beings with a 28 day cycle, that we hold deep wisdom and are highly intuitive – is essential for high achieving women to truly stand in their power as the sovereign leaders of their lives.
I relate masculine energy to our purpose and discipline. Our masculine energy may be imbalanced if we work ourselves to the bone and burn out frequently: or, are constantly anxious about getting the sh*t done. Learning to restructure the hustle paradigm as an act of devotion has been a game changer for how I view and implement my business and everyday routines. I help my clients through this process, so they can keep the lifestyle they want without constantly burning out from over activating their masculine energy.
How do these energies show up in the day to day of our actual lives? What does that look like as we lean into one or the other?
The masculine is a way of “doing” and the feminine is a way of “being”. Depending on what energy you are accustomed to leaning towards, one of these may be more natural that the other. My masculine energy has been over-activated for most of my life. And this is most common for ambitious women. So for me – success always looked like performance. It was being student body Vice President, starting a new club on campus, getting good grades, getting great recommendations, being the top of my class, getting intensive internship experience. This is very masculine – it’s go go go, doing doing doing.
Your masculine is your to do list for the day. The stuff you actually have to get done is when we tap into our masculine. But the way in which we do these things – the “being” behind these things, is the feminine. How nourished do I feel doing this? What is most nourishing right now? How can I have fun while I do the things? How do I feel in my body? What is my body saying to me? What do I know to be true that I am ignoring? How can I let my truth guide my actions? How do I flow through instead of force through? These are questions we must ask ourselves to activate our feminine energy. These are harder to answer because it is so much more about feeling than doing. It’s subjective, it’s dynamic, it’s ethereal.
What does balance between the masculine and feminine energies look like? How can we bring ourselves closer to that harmony?
Having a balance of masculine and feminine energy is an ongoing dance. There will be times when each of these energies take over – and that’s ok! Having the grace to allow this is part of sovereignty. A good example of a balance in masculine and feminine energies is having bold and clear desires and boundaries. Let’s say you are starting a new business. Let’s say you want more speaking gigs. So – you harness your unapologetic desire for speaking gigs by getting playful and creative about landing speaking opportunities. If it feels right (intuition) you bring it up in conversation. You ask yourself how do you want to “be” as someone who has landed many speaking gigs- Confident? Curious? Daring? Harness this energy and BE it. Trust it. Surrender to knowing your energy and desire is potent. This is the feminine.
The masculine is writing the actual to do lists that day. Get the things done and make it work. A nuance here that exemplifies true harmony, is to stay nourished while completing the tasks. Take breaks here if you need. Take a walk. Split them up. How you can do the tasks while maintaining a sense of nourishment is the sweet spot of balanced energy. To abandon the discipline to carry out the tasks is to neglect the masculine; to deprive oneself of nourishment until the tasks are complete, is to neglect the feminine. To let small setbacks and triggers impede your ability to carry out your tasks is to also neglect the masculine. However, to deny that something hurt your feelings and numb out that feeling is to neglect the feminine. Do you see how this is an art and not a science? Self abandonment is always the result of the imbalanced masculine and feminine energy. A comprehensive question to ask may be- how can I stick by myself throughout my day today? How can I reclaim my power – moment to moment?
Where does spirituality come into play with embracing our energies and polarity within?
To understand that masculine and feminine energies even exist IS spiritual! If you are this far in the blog then you have already surrendered to your spiritual nature. We are all spiritual beings, and the sooner we can succumb to that truth, the closer we are to our power. Only once we admit this, can we reclaim our power through radical responsibility.
Looking at yourself in the mirror and identifying where your energetic imbalances are is a spiritual process and is the first step towards becoming the leader of your life. Once we engage in this process of deep introspect, we can recognize our sabotaging behaviors and self created barriers to fulfillment. Finally tapping into the fact that I am a sacred being capable of divine union within myself, I became the leader of my life. The second we submit to the fact that we are the co-creators of our experience, and have the capacity to maintain a higher frequency, our spirituality becomes our lifestyle. Embodying these laws of polarity (masculine and feminine energy) becomes a spiritual journey fully integrated into our relationships, careers, and everything beyond.
How does tapping into our spirituality fuel our ongoing expansion?
Spirituality is the secret ingredient to success. No matter what your definition of success is- the underlying energy of success is ongoing expansion. One of my coaches passed down the phrase, “exponential growth and evolution over a lifetime”. This is success. To internalize this concept of success you must surrender to energy. Surrendering to the wisdom found in energetic truths is spiritual in nature. Believing stronger in what we can’t see compared to what we can see.
Only once we commit to expansion in our own energy (a sort of upward spiral) do we see the byproduct of that expansion in our external realm. Want to find your passion? Great – expand your awareness – both pragmatically and energetically. Read books on how to live your dream but also take responsibility for your energy that is getting in the way of you aligning to what truly lights you up. Reading the books without doing the energy work is only one piece of the pie. The complete surrender to energy is the spirituality in expansion. Understanding your own potentiality is a prime example of this. You can’t see it, but you KNOW it – despite it not being here yet. Taking energetic inventory and attuning to the subtleties in your energy patterns is how we expand from a place of spirituality. I help my clients with this with a step by step process. A little secret to know is that part of everyone’s purpose is to expand. To live a life of purpose is to live a life of perpetual expansion. And to expand is to recognize your own spiritual nature.